Written Vein

Oh My Goodness!

2010-11-28T21:49:00.002-07:00

I have not written in this blog for most of this year. Not that it is a bad thing... just been busy with everything. Whether it was with my ANWA responsibilities, family, or writing don't have time to do anything else... it was something.

So I will try and be better about this. I got a new faster computer this fall and I'm enjoying it. Still transferring stuff from the old one to the new one and all that fun stuff. Go me!

But I'm still writing. In fact, I did NaNoWriMo this month... half the month was great. Then I hint a block... not sure if it was because I was trying to make the text too perfect or I just couldn't find my happy place? For about a week, I suddenly was too tired to do anything by time the evening rolled around I wanted to just go to bed. And I did. Then Thanksgiving hit and I had guests at my home and I think worry and a racing mind killed the muse there.

SO, NaNoWriMo... the point is to make you write and to develop good stable writing habits right? So it was a success if it got me to write 10K words this month. And that makes me a happy camper.

This evening I opened a twitter account:

twitter.com/writtenvein

Yep, I tweet now.

And at the end of this year I will no longer be the President of American Night Writers Association. Yep. My two years is over. I'll be back though. It's been fun! I've learned so much and it really helped me to gain the confidence that I was lacking at that point in my life. I can say with confidence I feel more like a writer today then I ever have been in my whole life. And I'm certainly writing more than I ever have before too. All thanks to ANWA and attending conferences!!

Which reminds me... LTUE anyone? Gonna be here in February! And then of course the wonderful ANWA conference the following weekend! Yep that's right readers, February is gonna be really crazy fun with conferences and stuff!

The ANWA Conference "Writing at the Speed of Life" is a two day conference this year with pitch sessions and a workshop the Friday before. You can register for the conference here. It's gonna be really fun so register now all the details are at the website. You can also follow the conference tweets as well at:

twitter.com/ANWA_LDS

ANWA Conference 2011 is also on facebook too!

Okay well, now I gotta go write.

Month of Conferences:

2010-02-09T23:36:00.006-07:00

February is my month for writing conferences. I'm leaving tomorrow at the opening of the morning to travel to Provo Utah for the first one this month.

http://www.ltue.org/

It's FREE! At least to attend but since I'll be driving and needing food, staying with friends, it isn't completely free.

I'll let you know how it was when I get back.

The next one will be Saturday February 27th all day. The Annual ANWA Conference, which I am hosting. Well, not me alone. ANWA is putting it on, but I'm the President so I'll be the one introducing and welcoming everyone to the conference. It'll be fun. You should come, we've got lots of great speakers and presenters. It's going to rock! We have some nice stuff planned and you'll be sorry if you miss out! Go to the following link to register!

http://anwa-lds.com/conference.html

I'm also the one who created and designed the new ANWA logo. Yeah, I've been meaning to post some stuff about it but I just have been busy. So I'll post more later!

In progress!

2010-01-18T00:44:00.002-07:00

It isn't because I'm ignoring my blog, I'm just devoting all my time to writing. Why? Because I can quite literally see the end in sight and that always motivates me to write, write, write.

I have a ton of stuff to share really I do. But I'm writing. If I hit my goal early I'll spend the end of the month putting some wicked posts in my blog. I swear!

Sharing the totals of my hard work!

2010-01-03T21:36:00.002-07:00

December is now over with. So is 2009 too. And here are the accomplishments of my long hard work since I started writing in 2009.

In December I made a goal to hit over 12,000 words. I wrote a total of 21,393! I didn't plan that. I didn't push myself either. So I'm really happy that I can say I can write that many words! My goal is to practice every month so next November when I do NaNoWriMo, I can do it! As it stands, practice really does help me work up to stuff that seems out of my reach.

For all of 2009, I wrote a total of:
61,127 words. Cause that is how far into my story I am.

NEW GOALS:
Well, for January I want to hit 20,000 words. So I'll report all of that on my tracker along the sides of my blog. You'll have to scroll down to find it. (It's on the left hand side, in pink.)
For 2010, I want to continue to hit my monthly goal and practice for NaNoWriMo. And of course, finish my WIP. And once that one is done I see no reason why I can't start on the next one.

I can honestly say my future feels so bright I have to wear sunglasses. YAY!

Comments:

2009-12-29T22:22:00.003-07:00

I am always thrilled to get comments and I wouldn't normally delete them unless they are really mean, nasty, random, or generally unable to decipher. But lately I've been getting ones that are in a completely different language. I speak english, everything on my blog is in english so unfortunately since I can't read in any other language I will be deleting any comments that fall under the following description:

Comments with swear words, that are mean, nasty, crude, random (with no explanation), generally unable to decipher, or are in any language other than English (with no translation) will be deleted.

I want this blog to be appropriate for any reader at any age and have a general uplifting nature. Sometimes this means that you've got to put your foot down.

Notice how I didn't say you couldn't promote your own blog here. I'm cool with that, only if it doesn't contain anything offensive on it. Like I said, I want any one from any age to be able to come to my blog and not have to worry that they are going to run into a swear word or some crude comment. This also means if you promote yourself here I hope you can understand if I feel uncomfortable about what is on your link I'll ask you to not promote here.

G rating! Thanks!

Working...

2009-12-21T02:47:00.002-07:00

I have had a few projects on my plate this month. I'm getting more readers and I wanted to post something quickly so I don't let any of you down who are looking for inspiration or just want to something encouraging to read.

ANWA... I made a new logo for American Night Writers Association. I've been working on it for a little while. But finished it and shared it with the rest of the Executive Board and they put their stamp on it. It will be featured in the newsletter for January 2010. So stay tuned!

Writing Goals... Remember NaNoWriMo last month? I only wrote 12,000 words during the whole month which is the most I've ever written in any one month in 2009. Well, I beat it this month. I hit 12,000 words half way through December and I'm not done yet. Again another stay tuned to see how many words I get to. (I'm practicing to see just how many words I can write in one month. Without killing myself or wanting to kill myself. eheheh)

Okay, so that's it. Those are the two big ones I've been so focused on when I'm not running around the house putting out fires and keeping the kids from injuring themselves or each other. I have been contemplating on what I will continue to write about in this blog... hopefully something that gets everyone excited to write more in 2010!

Confessions of a Amateur Writer #2: You gotta love it forever!

2009-12-08T12:43:00.001-07:00

I've been writing on my current WIP (Work In Progress) since June 2009. It seems like forever! But I'm still insanely focused on it. Which is good. There are days when I think "Am I done yet???!"

I confess there have been times when the only accomplishing thing I did to add to my word count was to open all my files and run a word count on everything I've written so far to check how far I am. Making absolutely sure I hadn't missed something somewhere. Am I indeed at the word count I confess to be at?

I thought I was more than half way through by now, but alas I am not. I'm starting to think this obsession is going to be a life long thing. Will it ever end?

I happened to talk to one of my writer friends the other day. I'm reading her story and I haven't finished it yet. This is the second version I've been reading. She had a confession to tell me when I told her how far I was into her novel. She's rewriting it again. This makes it her third rewrite. We both laughed sheepishly.

The reality of what she said hit me afterwards. I'm in this for life. There won't be a day that goes by I don't think about what I'm writing about. And the first draft is just the first of many rewrites to come. When I finally do get picked up by someone to publish it, I'll be rewriting it yet again.

Insanity just doesn't cover this level of strange. I think you just gotta love it forever. Just like you love your kids even though they drive you crazy sometimes too. Hey, I've heard novels compared to kids. Maybe that is the reason why. You will never be free of your kids, just like you'll never be free of your story.

So the moral of this post is... If you're gonna write it you better love it forever. Because chances are you will write it once and then rewrite it until your eyes are bleeding and you want to stab it to death. Or you want to stab yourself to death? There will be days when it is purely delightful to be in the pages of your novel writing, discovering, plowing through, making the magic happen. And then there will be days when you are ready to rip all the pages to shreds, kill all your characters, and burn every word you've ever written.

Caution to the wise... before you light a match, remember to make the commitment before you start writing to love your story no matter what. It's like a marriage commitment.

HEY, did I just do that... compare writing to marriage and family? It's the story of my life!

Once Upon A Meter...

2009-11-29T17:57:00.009-07:00

"When there are no words speak from the heart and you shall surprise yourself."
~ Unknown

Because of NaNoWriMo, I have written approximately 11,000 words on my WIP (Work in Progress) bringing my total amount over 33,000 words! It took me 5 months to get to roughly 28,000 words. (About 5,600 words a month?) So in terms of what I've written in a month that is amazing! I've doubled what I have normally writen in a month. Maybe some of the big writers put in more than that, I'm still learning and I've got little kids to contend with. I'm just excited about my strides!

And let me tell you it has taken a ton out of me to get that far. I feel like I've been obsessed with words. It's always on my mind every day to try and plug further. But it has really done great things in terms of my word count. I will definitely come back and do this next year if I'm not insanely obsessed with something else. And even if I am, I'm still going to try and do it. (Yes, I am a nut. Hey, I'm a writer! I refuse to be normal!)

Hopefully by then I'll be done with this story and on to the next one after that, which I believe I'm really going to have to do at this point. (I'm starting to come up with the plot of the next novel already. Er... I'm seeing it start to take form.) It's all good.

I've really enjoyed having a little word meter to track my progress while writing. Because of this, and the fact that Nanowrimo will be ending soon, I am going to place a word meter on my blog. I don't know if the Nanowrimo meter works the rest of the year? Keeping a meter though, it's just because I want to make myself keep to goals and sharing those goals. When you write them down and tell others about them, you have to keep yourself up to the standard. Everyone will be watching and waiting and hoping you do what you set out to do then.

I will be keeping a word meter on my blog, so everyone knows I'm working even if it is slowly. You can come back and check my progress, make sure I'm still working! My goal is to have this story finished by June 2010, the same month I started it in 2009. Then I'll start the next one. Then there is the whole editing thing... oh the possibilities!

Here are the word meters I found if you'd like to add one to your blog:
NaNoWriMo Word Meter (I'm assuming this was before they had their own.)
6 Word Meters and Trackers from Spontaneous Derivation
Writertopia Writing Meter
Leigh's Word Meter
Wordmeter by Svenja

Requiring a log in/account sign up to track:
The Life Literary - Writing Counters
Word Count Widgets - National Novel Writing Month
StoryToolz
Luminary Writer's Database
Margaret Fisk's Word Advance Progress Meter

Now I just have to decide which one I'm gonna use!

Writing Excuses Podcast is where it's at!

2009-11-17T17:38:00.007-07:00

"A real friend helps us think our best thoughts, do our noblest deeds, be our finest selves."
~ Anonymous

As I have mentioned before, I recently discovered the wonderful world of podcasts. I said if I found one that focuses on writing I'd say something about it if I LOVED it? Well, I found one. I've listened to SEVERAL months worth already in the last few days and I simply just LOVE this cast!!!! It has just spoken to me, quite literally, on so many levels after just discovering it I'm ready to blast off exactly what I feel about it.

"WRITING EXCUSES" PODCAST! It ROCKS!

I can't say it any better than that. If you know how to listen to it, DO IT NOW! If you don't, LEARN HOW! It's hosted by three artists, Brandon Sanderson, Howard Tayler, and Dan Wells. Their catch line is "Fifteen minutes long, because you're in a hurry, and we're not that smart." It's catchy, humorous, and frankly these guys are entertaining. Audible is their sponsor. And they end with a writing prompt! How great is that?! I'm gonna let these guys speak for themselves though so...

bask in the wonderfulness:
http://www.writingexcuses.com/

This podcast is definitely become my new BFF!

Take that linear writing!

2009-11-16T20:35:00.005-07:00

"The woman who work with her hands only is a Laborer. The woman who works with her hands and her head is a Craftswoman. The woman who works with her hands, her head, and her heart is an Artist."
~St. Francis of Assisi

So for the last two weeks I've struggled to write the way that I have been for the last six months. Nothing has been coming as easily as it has been. And then I discovered two things:

1. I'm not listening to the voice within that says "Write from this point today." Which means that yes I'm jumping around in the novel but the more I try to make myself write from Chapter 1 to 2 to 3 and so forth, the less able I feel to write at all. I just end up writing and laboring on the piece maybe even doing a job of craftswoman a bit, but it isn't fun, it feels like a job. And I have a hard time making myself sit down and do it. Not what I want to be doing right now.

2. I'm trying TOO hard to make it perfect. (Especially first go around.) Again, another issue I've had in the past that has made me stop writing altogether.

Okay so number 1 is easily fixed. I just stop trying to be linear here and I start jumping around again. No problem. I know exactly where I need to be writing then today. I got to listen to that. But number 2? Pulling a blank? Maybe if I go with number 1 it will remedy itself because I'll be writing from the heart and that's a pretty big pull for me. This whole learning your writing process thing can be both fun and perplexing. But you gotta love it right? And telling yourself to not be a perfectionist, yeah, I've been saying that to myself for years and has it ever helped?

*laughs and looks around with shifty eyes*

A Come Back?

2009-11-12T23:39:00.003-07:00

So I've pooped out on my blog lately. But I'm making the rounds and getting at least a post up to get back on the wagon today. Just a goal and goals are good because they keep us going. Especially wonderful when you feel like you just don't wanna. And this week writing in my free time... I just don't wanna. Bleh.

(See I knew I shouldn't have signed up for NanoWriMo!)

But alas! The week isn't over yet.

So I had to do a shout out here about podcasts. In the last 3 months I've become a fan of podcasts. I've found some fun entertaining casts, not about writing, that have hooked me into the fun that podcasts are.

Today I started browsing around for podcasts for writers and writing topics. I found a few. And once I've found a few that I like I will definitely add them here. If I don't find what I want, who knows maybe I'll start my OWN!

For those who aren't very familiar with what a podcast is... basically it is like a radio show but on the internet. (It's so easy to produce your own podcast that those who do them usually aren't paid or trained professionals who have had a long career in media production.) You don't have to have a iPod or other similar device to listen to it. Some can be listened to right on your computer/laptop or via iTunes. Or you can download the file and burn it to a disc and listen to it in your car. So don't worry just because you don't have an iPod you won't enjoy the same show that I may talk about here. You most likely will if you have a computer with audio capability.

Some Links:

2009-09-24T22:53:00.002-07:00

Just found some articles that I read and liked. I wanted to share them and remember them, so I'm posting them into my blog.

Overcoming Writers Block from an Amateur Writer

A Passionate Amateur Almost Always Beats a Bored Professional

When Does an Amateur Writer Become a Real or Professional Writer?

An Amateur Writers Checklist

Amateur Writer Misconceptions that Should be Punished!

Are You A Real Writer?

My Stages of Writing:

2009-09-24T15:58:00.004-07:00

CREATION STAGE:
Where I contemplate plots, characters, what the point of the story is, what drives it, why should I care, why other people should care, and why it's worthwhile to write it if at all. I may in fact write a chapter or two and then lose interest. I may write out long background on each character, getting down every little detail so if I actually decide to sit down and write the story someday, I'll have all of my notes and summaries to fall back on.

Up until 4 months ago... this was where I honestly went to. I really never got past this stage until now.

SPEW STAGE:
I'm actually writing my first rough rough draft. IF I have more than 20,000+ words dedicated to this story by this point, I am now officially spewing real work, potential publish-someday-material, and I'm not just thinking and making IDEA STAGE fodder. The work is consistent. I can even say how many words I'm writing on a week to week basis. YAY!

EDITING STAGE:
rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite... everybody now...

(A stage I have not had to privilege to really KNOW as of this day in 2009. I've had my brush with a rewrite but it isn't a real rewrite for me, in my mind, unless I have a complete story to rewrite. That is all 80K to 100K completed size of it. And that mile mark is yet to be accomplished in this amateur writer's list of accomplishments. Don't worry I'll get there... It's on my bucket list of things to do before I die.)

PUBLISH STAGE:
I've heard other people talk about this stage... It sounds cool... I have no idea what it will be like. SOOOO, I oogle at it, raise an eyebrow in its general direction, consider myself at pre-published stage, and contemplate what I will do when I actually cross this finish line. How will it feel? Will I cry? Will I scream?! Will I buy a huge TUB of ice cream and celebrate brain freeze style?

Will my kids still consider me their mom and not that "strange person who talks to herself sitting in the corner, in her pajama attire writing" by then?????

That will definitely be a confession time...

Maybe even therapy?

LOL!

*****

AND... that is about the extent of my writing "stages" at this point. I'm sure as I actually write and write and write some more, move on in my knowledge and experience of writing I'll have more stages. I'm just enjoying the point in my life where I'm writing consistently. As in, every day I look forward to the kids being in bed and having 3 to 4 hours of real writing time. I look forward to it EVERY day!

There is so much about writing I have not yet experienced. The whole journey and repeating it.

It's a ride!

Confessions of a amateur writer:

2009-09-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

I have a love hate relationship with writing.

Yes that is right, I fully admit and confess I sometimes want to pull my hair out at the ends because what I've written sounds so awful...

Then again there are days when it is SO exciting I can't stop and everything is flowing great and I'm so passionate about getting it all down, and it sounds so good...

Yes, I am very conflicted.

You would think I'd just throw in the towel and realize the love hate relationship is so twisted. But do I?

Just when I'm sure I will throw in the towel forever, I have one of those really awesome writing days.

See where this is going?

Now I understand what it means to be considered insane. It is also why I finally broke down and bought one of those shirts that says "The voices won't let me stop writing." It's absolutely true! I will wear that shirt as a badge of my insanity.

Now I know what you are thinking, "what kind of a writing day is she having today?"

Make Myself!

2009-07-27T00:06:00.001-07:00

I have honestly NOT intended to ignore this blog as much as I have. It's the fact that summer has been here and I've not had much alone time to think and reflect except when I was at Retreat the first 2 days, and in the evenings when I'm trying to make myself write.

"Make myself?"

Yes, that's right. I'm pushing myself to write. You'd think that I'd be more than happy to do it. And I am, but some times I am tired or I'm not in the mood and I'm trying very hard to get in the habit of writing. In fact, right this very minute I should be writing on my story, especially so since I've come up with a few more ideas to write on again, but I am posting to my blog instead! Those wonderful ideas keep on rolling in when I feel like I've hit a wall and I'm SO grateful that my brain continues to figure stuff out even when I'm not devoted to the written task.

I kinda attribute the concept that its hard to do one thing continuously when you aren't used to doing it often. Just like when you start to exercise you don't go run a marathon to begin with, you have to train yourself a head of time for months. Yeah, I'm in my training stage. I'm writing more than I have in years and I'm happy about that. But I'm not at a point where I'm going to say I can sit and write 1000 words a week or something like that. Do real accomplished writers write that much? Maybe somewhere in my brain I'm completely jaded as to what accomplished writers do? So set me straight.

Honestly, I can't make that type of commitment today or tomorrow or next week. But I know that eventually I will, especially if I keep "training." Just not until all my children are in school full time. Right now I have little ones at home and I absolutely have to supervise them or things will fall apart in so many ways it's not funny. Night writing is my only option right now and whatever else I can squeeze in during the day.

There are a few things that have helped me to get more writing time in and I'm slowly getting better at it. 1. Learning to write while in the midst of distraction. Yes, screaming and running children under foot counts as EXTREME distraction. Need I say more? 2. Eliminating activities (distractions) you are willing to sacrifice for the greater benefit of writing. I am a freakoid television watcher, especially in the evenings. So of course, I am trying to eliminate watching so much tv, so I can devote more time to writing. Hulu has helped... maybe just a little.

How am I doing on this path? Well, my goal to begin with was to write at least 2 pages a month. Pretty low goal, I know, but I figured it was lofty enough to motivate me without making me feel so terrible if I couldn't reach that goal. And the results are that I've been writing at least 10 pages a month instead. So I feel really accomplished. Setting goals is fun! YAY!

It's probably time to up the ante. And I think I will. Just not yet. I like the fact that I have my 2 page goal and I'm hugely jumping further in my target. Is it selfish of me to want to see myself doing so much more and reveling in it? Okay, maybe I'm not reveling in it as much as I could, but secretly in my heart, I feel like I'm getting somewhere and that is a really great feeling.

Every journey begins with the first step. So I am making my journey worthwhile by the steps I'm taking.

To Authonomy or not Authonomy that is the Question?

2009-07-20T21:21:00.002-07:00

I know I haven't written in a while but today I joined this new site called Authonomy. I heard about it at retreat, which I just came back from this last weekend. (I'll post more on retreat next time.)

So not only did I join but I found a few posts online that talked about the disadvantages of Authonomy. But I still decided that I was going to join, if only for the reason to read stories from others who think they are ready to try and publish. That way I can at least see what publishers and editors are having to deal with. It can be amazing the level that you have to be at, and the level that is entered. So far, I read one story today and I took an hour doing it. Gave a critique and over all, the first person I read definitely wasn't ready. But it was still a good story. I left a good critique.

Anyhow, that is the post for today, and the following posts I read to beware of Authonomy.

Is Authonomy authentic?

Authonomy: Slushkiller or New Slush?

Touching Shoulders

2009-04-28T17:00:00.008-07:00

When I was first dating my husband he read me this poem and since then I have always loved it. I thought about it when we were at the Whitney's this last weekend. About what a privilege it is to rub shoulders with the people that were there. So I wanted to post it and share. I don't know who wrote it originally.

There's a comforting thought at the close of the day, when I'm weary and lonely and sad, that sort of grips hold of my crusty old heart and bids it be merry and glad. It gets in my soul and drives out the blues, and finally thrills through and through. It is just a sweet memory that chants the refrain: "I'm glad I touched shoulders with you!"

Did you know you were brave, did you know you were strong? Did you know there was one leaning hard? Did you know that I waited, listened and prayed, and I was cheered by your simplest word? Did you know that I longed for that smile on your face, for the sound of your voice ringing true? Did you know that I grew stronger and better because I had merely touched shoulders with you?

I am glad that I live, that I battle and strive for the place that I know I must fill; I am thankful for sorrows, I'll meet with a grin what fortune may send, good or ill. I may not have wealth, I may not be great, but I know I shall always be true, For I have in my life that courage you gave When once I rubbed shoulders with you.

Whitney Awards:

2009-04-28T15:14:00.002-07:00

I'm SOO bummed. I went to the awards and I FORGOT my program! I've searched everywhere and I must have left it on the table after it was done. I could just kick myself in the shin. Especially since I really wanted to keep it as the first one I ever attended... to remind me that great writing and writers have their moment. (If there are any extras OR if anyone isn't planning on keeping yours, please can I have it??)

Maybe someday it might mean something more to me? Ya know? Not that it didn't mean enough already. The whole event was just neat neat neat! Great to see Kerry Blair get a lifetime achievement award. All the support in seeing her up their on stage. Being so happy for her and all that she has inspired in others. And glad to have rubbed shoulders with her in ANWA. (I'm glad to say I finally read my first Kerry Blair novel!!) This is an accomplishment for me because I've only been an ANWA member for 2 years this fall! (Yep, that's right, I'm new AND I'm the President! How did that happen?)

And then to hear from Orson Scott Card and the great things he said in his acceptance speech for a Lifetime Achievement Award. It just inspires you to be that much more onboard with writing to join the movement of LDS writers in the main stream. I'm really grateful for all that he said and if I could get a copy of it, to look back on it when I get discouraged, that would be something nice to remember for all time. (Besides the fact that this last year I also became a big fan of his too!) Don't ask me why I didn't pick up one of Card's books earlier. It's been on my list of things to read, I just didn't get around to it until I was married and had kids!!

If I'd been paying better attention to names I would have realized that when they made reference to another author in the room finishing up the "Wheel of Time" series I would have KNOWN that they were talking about Robert Jordan's books and that the author his wife picked to finish that series was in the room as well!! *Head desk*

Okay I'd admit it, my brain is in a funk and I'm not the brightest crayon in the box this month. DOH!

Next year I'll be on my game much better!

And of course, everyone who got an award!! So excited and happy for all of them. And even just the nominees! Everyone who was nominated had a book that other people read and they told their stories. That is fabulous in and of itself.

Honestly, I had my break down moments at this conference. No particular reason, just that I feel I'm starting all over from scratch. Well, I did at a few moments. And I happen to be particularly emotional this month. More than usual. Hormones can really be a curse at times in your life. On the upside of this, I didn't make a huge scene in front of people, well, maybe just a few... and they were all completely supportive and comforting. You know who you are and THANK YOU!

It was all reminiscent of when I was in College and I was politely kicked out of my figure drawing class. And I say politely because I left the class not because I had done anything wrong, but I wasn't really ready to be in the class and learning the instruction my teacher was giving at the time. I'll probably remember that day for the rest of my life! And not because I was upset, but because of everything it did for me because I wasn't ready to be there. I wanted to be there. REALLY bad! I could see it, understand it, and accept that Mr. Barksdale was doing exactly the right thing. But I wanted to be there in every thread of my being. I wasn't ready. I was sad, frustrated, and really emotional about it. I could also tell that I really made him uncomfortable because I was crying, and I didn't think he expected that reaction.

I mean can you imagine, very strong big artist type telling a very young little lady that she just got through without his notice and isn't ready to be at the level everyone else is. She needs to go back a step, and the whole time she's sobbing. He just didn't know what TO say.

A year later I was back in his class. He remembered me, was excited to see I was there and ready. And I was really ready that time to learn what he was teaching. I just had to go through one hard day and one hard realization that I wasn't there just yet. And then a lot of work afterwards. It made me a better artist though. It made all the difference to let myself just be and allow the learning process to happen instead of make it happen. I think that is when I really realized that my journey and the journeys of others aren't the same and don't have to be the same. There is a difference between letting it happen and making it happen. Some things you learn at a pace you can't predict or control. And sometimes your path isn't going to be a step by step goal that you reach. Some goals have to be felt with the heart, learned with practice, frustration, and patience. That isn't always easy. But its worth it.

I had one of those moments at this conference. Just a personal A-Ha moment. Good signs, I say. And I will remember this experience for a long time to come. Just like the drawing class experience. It's earmarked into my memory. And now that I've written about it, even more so.

I won't feel guilty if I'm not where I imagined myself to be writing wise at this point in my life. I won't make up unrealistic expectations and make things as I want them to be. But I'll be patient and work hard and see where things are in a year or more. The thing is I'm not always the most patient person. *laugh* And that does not work to my benefit!
AT ALL!
*LOL*

I'm sure I'm not alone in that though.

Okay, so I meant to write about how wonderful the Whitney Awards where and I ended up writing about the meaning of my life! Maybe that is the moral of my experience. Being at the Whitney's inspired my creative existence. It instilled just one more reason, one more purpose to write, write, write! Because the pen truly is mightier than the sword. There is power in words, and if you want to make a positive mark on the world you can with words. I guess deep down I do want to, I mean it isn't the only reason but it is one of the many. Even if it is just a fantasy story that everyone reads and likes. J.R.R. Tolkien did it. C.S. Lewis did it. Lots of others have since then too. And before them as well.

This is just one more experience to add to the accumulation of what makes my journey get to where it goes. I am grateful for it. I want to appreciate it and never forget it's importance. Cause someday, maybe I'll be one of those people inspiring others and I may or may not even know it. I think taking time to appreciate the little things is what makes doing anything creative important. It's the little things that make the magic happen. It's the little things that keep you going when you feel like you want to quit.

LDStorymakers Conference

2009-04-25T15:12:00.001-07:00

Overall... totally rocks!! I'm coming back next year because I love it so much! This has to be a yearly visited conference. (Just like the ANWA Conference too.)

I came up with some of my fellow ANWA members, Tina Scott and Valerie Ipson, to rainy Provo Utah. (At least it is raining this weekend. Which is okay in my book because I'm inside taking classes!) I've gotten books and tons of great classes to help improve my craft! (Notes to remember it all.) I've met other authors and gotten to know new people who are all amazing!

Like I said... it totally rocks! And I can't say anything more. I'm still here at the conference right now writing this entry during a break. I have yet to attend the Whitney Award Gala... so that will be my next post. Probably when I get home because I don't have the internet access in my hotel room.

If you get a chance to come to the LDStorymakers Conference next year, DO IT!

Sick

2009-03-29T11:59:00.003-07:00

I caught the cold from my two little boys after nursing them for a week with it. I've literally just been staying in bed. I am not a good sick person. Especially when I've already been helping two sick children and then I get sick too. I mean it wouldn't be all that bad if I had gotten sick and the kids hadn't been sick. I put everything on hold when they were sick. Then I get sick and it just extends the whole I've already been taking care of the sick for a week already now, and I still have to deal with it but this time its "ME!" So what another week of this? That's two weeks of dealing with being sick. *grumbles and rants*

The good side of all of this is that I've been having some pretty interesting dreams when I sleep at night. One last night gave me an idea for a story I am putting together. So I'm trying not to be too annoyed at being sick still today. I have to say that dreams have been pretty helpful throughout my life in generating ideas for stories. Or helping me with details that I just couldn't figure out.

Yay for the subconscious! My secret idea worker in the backdrop of my own head!

200

2009-03-14T00:53:00.004-07:00

We have hit the official 200 members mark in ANWA! OH YEAH!! We had a meeting today and the membership secretary was quick to point that out!

*SQUEEEEE*

Good times!

Now off to bed with me...

PS... and can I just say that the board is a hoot! I swear every time we do anything together we have our silly silly moments. It's just wonderful that we can joke and laugh together, even though we are still getting to know each other. It's great! They say that laughter is the spice of life and I always look for those little indications of humor because it says so much about the people who can let their hair down and be themselves.

Little bits:

2009-03-11T16:09:00.003-07:00

The conference was a great success! Almost 100 people came! Can you believe that? If we keep getting more and more people every year we are going to have to get a bigger place to have it at. Which is too bad because the school we have it at is a fun place, it is a place where many have attended and are familiar with.

But change is good. We'll see how things go for next year.

Yep, I was dang nervous. Things went. I'm not sure how well, but I didn't have a total meltdown moment so that is good. It was very intimidating being in front of so many people and being in charge. I know it seems trivial. But this is the biggest leadership position I've held since my first years in College. After having kids and going through PPD with both of them, confidence is a little on the low side for me. SO my goal for next year is to have more of that. YAY! There are things that I'd definitely do better so now I've got a bit of experience to fall back on. Next year will be better. Looking forward to that!

I have notes to share, I missed one of the presenters... which happens... but I'll share the stuff that I found the most uplifting in future posts.

Personal Writing Goals for this month:
Write two pages on my story and briefly edit them.

I know this is a small goal, it is, and I'm okay with that. I'm a busy mom to boys, a 5.5 year old and a almost 2 year old. Some evenings I have meetings with various activities and then spending time with my DH too. I think that two pages is a modest goal that I can reach. Start small, miss small! And then if I feel that it is too low, I can always do more next month! The point is to do something because just saying I'm going to write just isn't good enough. A have to have some sort of way to gear that. So this is my way.

Little Lessons

2009-03-05T15:03:00.001-07:00

I don't think I have ever spent so much time emailing for little details as I have on behalf of planning for the Conference. It is amazing to me. But all the little things behind the scenes are boggling my brain tonight.

I am amazed though at the turn out, besides all the nerves and stuff and personal anxieties that I have about being in front of people today I think I'm handling it much better. Go me! Ignore the worries until there is a reason for fretting about them. Thing is this conference is just going to be great and I doubt there is anything I could possibly do to spoil it.

Tonight I got a chance to talk to one of the presenters and it just verified to me one of the reasons why I'm doing this to begin with. Because it is just neat NEAT to rub shoulders with people who mirror your passion in literature and the arts. Kindred spirits! Finding them makes you feel all warm inside especially when they say something that you've always thought in your own head and just never have had the chance to say.

One of the goals that I've wanted to continue on the Board while I'm in office is to keep growing! If it is great at 192 members it will be even better at 290! (No that is not a prediction, we just want to keep growing!) At our last meeting we set a small goal to bring 1 new person in the next month. I didn't set this and honestly when I heard that my first reaction was a little bit of anxiety. Do you see a trend here? I MUST be an anxious person! eheheh

Actually it is good for me to not be always comfortable so bare with me on the little insecurities that I have.

Anyhow, I chided myself a few seconds later for being resistant to talking to someone about ANWA. I encouraged myself to just be positive and see what happens. Can you believe it that I've actually talked with a few people about ANWA since then? I mean, I was nervous cause I wasn't sure what to say. But I did it. I think that is pretty darn good of me. I guess my hang up is how do I completely express exactly how I feel about ANWA in one sentence? Right now that is really hard for me because I am overly excited about it. My tongue ties in knots and my brain hangs up on the words. Probably because I'm nervous about talking to people. Writing, no problem, but talking makes my knees quake.

And it IS my goal to over come that! Baby steps and all that personal encouragement!

One of the reasons why I'm verbalizing all this in my blog has a lot to do with a few things that I recall hearing. You know how little snipets of things people say stay with you. Each person hears something and can get something different out of the same message. Well, for some reason I recall a snipet of something that was said to me at the retreat this last year. It was said to me personally and I took it to heart because I often considered it when I was debating on running for president. See I wasn't sure if a person like myself, who was unpublished, busy, tongue tied, and inexperienced in leadership should run for president. The current President at the time reassured me, several times in fact, all that was required to do this job was to have a love for the members. And she was absolutely right. I have little experience and most of the time have felt like I'm free falling into space when it comes to knowing what to do or having the knowledge of how to run things.

All of that doesn't matter. It runs itself and honestly there are so many people who love this organization it isn't going to go belly up anytime soon. Why I was so hung up on the fear of not being able to do it all probably had more to do with my mental state at the time. And those little discouraging mental conversations that we have with ourselves when we are on the cusp of doing something that is actually good for us. Being where I am right now is really good for me on many different fronts. Everyone has their own journey, this is mine.

I'm saying this mostly because I hope that someday if there is someone else in ANWA that is avoiding running for office, that you rethink your fear about that. We need leaders even if it is just in name at first. When you get your personal reasons for doing it, then you make great impacts. Sometimes it is just the first hurtle to say "I'm going to do this even if I don't think I'm ready or able." Being in this position is making me ready. I couldn't see that at first when I was first asked to do this. But I get it now. Just be brave and have faith in yourself. And it isn't very hard. It's the same concept we have in believing in ourselves to write and publish. If you don't believe in yourself you aren't going to get very far.

I believe that I can do this job and do it well. Hopefully when I look back I will be able to see that I did it and I'll come back and serve again.

And then again, if believing in yourself is your biggest hang up, because I'm sure there are a few of us out there. Baby steps. Start somewhere.

The other thing that I've learned is everyone is busy. Not just me. But everyone. REALLY! I think it is our tendency, or maybe it is just my tendency, to think that we have so much going on that we can't see other people do to. If ever I think "I just don't have time to do this, what was I thinking?" I go and I listen to other members. Especially board members. That silences any lingering doubts about being too busy. We all are busy. We just find the time one way or another or plan MONTHS in advance so we can get the things done that we need to. Sometimes I just write a "To Do List" and then go down the line so I don't forget what needs to be done. It amazes me how much planning has gone on for the conference that is taking place this weekend! Way before I was ever elected. So the ball was moving way ahead of time.

Despite how excited I am though, I still feel green about this position. But I'm not afraid like I was. Actually I take that back, I still can be fearful, I just take the seeds of those fears out back and shoot them IMMEDIATELY! Sometimes I have to shoot them more than once and they have a nasty habit of resurrecting and coming back. I get the whole idea now about how a leader can still be afraid but yet not let the fear take over. I just keep saying to myself that it's okay to fear and it is even alright to just get comfortable with it and then I'm not so afraid.

I'm sure there are many applications to using that in life.

Moral of the story is silence your negative internal voice, don't say you can't when you really don't know until you try, and just do it. All sage and great advice to live by. To bad I didn't invent them. They have been floating around for years this is just my application of them in my life.

Ciao

Nerves of noodles

2009-03-02T13:31:00.006-07:00

We are just a few days away from having the ANWA Conference and things are getting exciting. (And I'm getting nervous too, I have to admit that.) But I've got a buzz of excitement on the side.

So far it looks like we are going to have a very healthy turn out. I don't know the numbers of what we have had in the past, but the prediction is around 80 people? And that is fabulous! It's great to see so much interest and following for our conferences.

So why am I nervous?

Well, speaking in front of people isn't my strong point. I'd be less nervous if I'd say been teaching in a church calling where I had to be in front of people often. But as it is I haven't, not complaining, just a fact. I mean I did have a talk in church two weeks ago. I tried to keep in mind when I was preparing the talk that talking in church will be like hosting at the conference except a few less people, so the conference should be a breeze right? Of course, talking at church is a bit more short lived. 15 to 20 minutes and then your done. I'm the host at the conference! It won't be "Hi, thanks for coming... enjoy your day?" Or maybe it is that simple? *flutter*

So tell my nerves it won't be a big deal? I'm anxious about it. About just being a total goof ball and saying something dumb. Or worse forgetting to thank someone that's helped out or one of the presenters... or just anything out there. I guess the only way to get over it is to do it. But until then I'll probably be just anxious about it. No denying that.

It's weird being both excited and anxious about the conference though. I can guarantee that when I go to LDStorymakers Conference in April that I'll be paying special attention to all the people directing the thing for tips. Since I'll be doing this again next year, and I'll hardly be a pro by then either.

Course, we are always our own worst critic right? So I'm sure I'll be more hard on myself than everyone else will be on me. I'll I have to do is keep it together and not freak out.

Simple enough right?

*laugh*

PS. What is up with blogspot today? I can't add a subject line? The field is missing??

*edit* Yeah, there is nothing wrong with blogspot today and their subject/title option. But there is something wrong with my brain. Somehow I turned off my title option. *DOH*

Just Google it!

2009-02-26T12:44:00.004-07:00

I had a phone call from my mom today. She called because she wanted to know how to spell check in her hotmail email account by right clicking. The only problem is that she was on her new mac lap top and she doesn't have a "right" clicker. This puzzled me too because I'm not very familiar with the keyboard commands myself so I didn't know what to tell her. Then inspiration struck!

"Mom, just google it."

"Well, how to I do that??"

I have failed in training my mother completely in the wonders of the internet! Especially for a writer. Google is the best feature ever invented online! The power of a dictionary right at your finger tips!! And I have not shown my mother how to spell check via google!!?

I will have to remedy this immediately. I told her the next time I come to visit I'll enlighten her on the powers of google. She will love it and use it often I'm sure. But until then I'm afraid she'll be calling me every time she needs to spell check. Or she did mention that she would have to keep the dictionary next to the computer. Now that is a funny image to think on!

Writing in the Church

2009-02-10T21:57:00.004-07:00

I didn't mean to get off on a tangent this evening while I was researching for an upcoming talk in church, but I found this wonderful article and I just had to share it. (And to keep it in mind as I write too. I reminder and a compass to what creative writing is all about.)

I know this is a short entry for today, but really everything that I feel and am inspired by is in the article. It's a great read! Take a load off and spend some time soaking it up. It really has some great encouragement for creative writers.

Creative Writing in the Church: A Challenge to Young Writers by Bruce B. Clark.

Changing Genres

2009-02-04T15:33:00.003-07:00

This year I made a goal to participate in a local book club that I've been sort of off and on membered in for the last 3 years. Since I've been doing better at keeping up with the books the last few months I've been really glad that I have taken up this personal challenge. I don't think I would have picked up the books I have if I hadn't taken this challenge. It's great exposure. I'm too easily drawn to the fantasy and science fiction genre. The thing is there are lots of great books. Not all are fantasy or scifi. I'm enjoying reading things I normally wouldn't pick up at all. I never envisioned myself being interested in other books like this.

Eventually some day I want to say that I've read more classics. Next month we are reading one of them and I have to say I'm embarrassed that I haven't read more of them. In reality only a handful. I don't know how I got through high school having not read more of them. I know I read the ones I was supposed to read, for tests and stuff but I didn't try to read any others. *tsk, tsk*

We just read "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson. It was quick but wow, had great insight. I think I'm going to try and make it a goal to read that one at least once a year just for a refresher. There are so many applications for the information in that book.

I'm just really thankful for all the exposure I'm getting from other books via this book club. Makes me rethink picking up other ones that I may normally pass by.

A Following

2009-01-19T15:14:00.002-07:00

This makes me nervous. I've suddenly got an audience.

Today I logged on just to tweak the web paint as I mentioned that I need to in my last post. (It's a bit more complicated than I expected and I think I'll have to do a bit of research to figure out how to fix what I want. Uhhh, complications in the code. Yay! Not!) *laughs*

And low and behold, 2 COMMENTS! Woot!

I know I'm so silly, but I can't help but feel butterflies about that. Which is so ridiculous because I have other blogs that I speak my mind in and I don't give it a second thought. And I have a limited audience on those. Maybe it's the whole idea that I'm speaking to people who I'd like to know or don't know me but we're all crossing that "I'd like to know you more" stage.

If I think about it too much, I just might drive myself crazy with the anxiety. So I won't. Maybe I'll go for a walk and walk off the nerves. I need to go out anyhow.

This isn't to say that I don't WANT comments. Cause sure, I do want them! It's neat to know that people read what you write especially on a blog. But it is suddenly intimidating too. Like that whole can't sleep the night before your first day of school starts. Will the other students like me, will I wake up late and forget to put on my cloths? *laugh*

I'm sure I still have the deer in the headlights look on my face from the whole "I'm the ANWA President" too! Sometimes I just can't believe it myself and I have to pitch my arm.

I don't get this about myself? Why do I get nervous about things like this and let it get to me? I don't mind a little bit of attention from time to time. I don't want a TON of attention. Just a little modest attention.

I need to go take that walk!!

New Look

2009-01-12T01:46:00.002-07:00

Tonight I just had to put something new up that I've been fiddling with for a few days. I got to a "stopping and using it" point. Actually I did this layout for a completely different idea. The problem is, I got that idea finished and then couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use it the way I wanted to. I may be web savvy but I'm not THAT savvy. There are limits to what I can do online. Takes time to figure out how to do stuff and time isn't something I have extra of. So the original has been sitting on my computer gathering dust. Finally a stroke of inspiration hit and I pulled it out to use it on this blog.

So I had to open the original file and change a bit to make it work how I wanted and where I wanted. (Obviously because it said stuff relevant to the other project.) Finally I have a unique look of my own for this blog. The one before was called "Aspire" and wasn't my personal creation, just some freebie I found on the interweb. I really don't have that much sentimental attachment to it so I'm not even going to try and show you what it looked like. It's enough to say I thought when I first saw it "I loved it" and it would be "perfect." But after awhile, it got really old. So time for a makeover right?

Anyhow, I'm not done yet. I've got a few more things on my mind to tweak here and there, but those will come gradually. This layout is ready to use. The added makeup will come.

Graphical Details: (or disclaimer, since my intention wasn't to steal someone's art online...)
Yes, I did all the graphics myself. I composed them from several images, fonts, and free items from all over the net. The celtic knot bars that frame the side of the middle of the page, those I got as some free graphic online a long time ago. It wasn't copyrighted, and I've changed the color, size, and placement. The castle photo, Bamburgh Castle, Northumberland, England, I believe was from www.gettyimages.com as a "royalty-free" search. The original photographer was, Ian Britton. (But I did a search and found it at a few photo sites.) I used 2 different fonts: Zaphino and Baskerville. The rest are free brushes for photoshop I downloaded from various livejournal.com communities. A free digital scrapbooking page (also a free download), and a few other miscellaneous graphics. In all, if something I used was in question, I tried to manipulate the original image so it became something completely new. I'm not making any money on this site, it's just for my own networking and self expression. But it is always nice to give credit where it is due.

Imagine that!

2009-01-08T01:36:00.001-07:00

I have a confession to make... I haven't even hinted about this one for the last six months. It's been on my mind just stewing about because I'm just built like that.

I've gone and gotten myself elected as the Executive President to the American Night Writers Association. *WOW!*

Here's the dirt:

I went to the ANWA retreat this last summer and was posed a challenge to run for the President. Really. At that time I hadn't even been a member of ANWA a complete year. In fact, when my youngest son turns 2 in May it will be two years since I've KNOWN that an organization like ANWA even existed. October 2009 will be my two year joining anniversary. I'm as green as they come!

Last year I volunteered myself to the Vice President of my chapter, Westside Stories, mainly because I wanted to make myself commit to attending monthly and helping in something I believed in. Little could I have known that it was going to lead further than that.

Well, my family's first reaction to all of this was I was crazy and that I didn't have to do it. Which didn't help but it really proved to me that I wasn't going to be influenced by any one person in this decision except myself and a higher power. From the time I left the retreat till the time I finally said, "I'll run," I felt drawn by the spirit of God to this position. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where I felt drawn to do this. There wasn't a prayer that went unanswered about doing it. Believe me I really was on the fence about doing it. I've got two young children and my own issues and things that could make this path for me difficult. But even through all of that I just felt that it was the right thing to do and that God had his hand in making my fears about it calm.

So here I am. Elected.

I don't say this because I am begrudgingly doing it. Not at all. I have really good reasons for saying yes. And it is deeply personal. Even though I have no experience and no connections and very little leadership experience. The one thing that I do have is enthusiasm in this association. And I do love the ladies. I mean what's there not to love? We are all creative, we are all struggling in one way or another, we all love writing... we are one in many things.

I was absolutely certain at last years ANWA Conference, "Line Upon Line" with the speaker's opening presentation that I was going to be an ANWA member for life! Prayers I made in my youth were answered right there and then (and now) when I found this organization. There are so many feelings I want to express about it that I just don't know where to start! Maybe I'll be able to get them out a bit at time in this blog.

But the number one person I want to thank first is God Himself! He answered my prayers, He's guided me this far, and He has faith in me to do the job. Right now is my time to jump in and learn what I can, soak it up like a sponge. I can't say I'll be perfect at it, and I'll need direction with the ropes for a time till I get it all down enough that I'm not a nervous wreck. But I can't go back and not be excited about being here. I can't NOT be involved in something I really am committed to. And that is this organization of ANWA!

ANWA will probably make a bigger impact on me than I will on it. But I will give my best effort and let my heart lead me where it goes. I've never been disappointed when I've followed it. I've still struggled, but it has always benefited my growth as a person in the end. I'm sure this opportunity will be no different.

So many times...

2008-12-04T03:15:00.003-07:00

So many times I have planned to post to this blog and I haven't. So I will have to be better about that. The one thing that I can brag that I have done for the last few months is that I have not missed one ANWA chapter meeting! Even when I've felt like not going my wonderful, loving, and supportive husband has pushed me out the door and told me to go or else. But upon my return I've always thanked him for prodding me when I've not been in the mood to go. I always come back in a GREAT mood. And why not? Having other "creatives" share rubs off on you in good ways.

It's almost as good as chocolate.

Almost...

*giggles*

The only real goals I have been accomplishing in writing terms has been meeting the healthy goal to read, read, and read some more. I read somewhere that you can't be a writer and not be actively reading too. You learn so much from reading what others have written. And there is also the "rubbing off" effect that words have on your brain too! So I have been paying close attention to the words of other authors. I found a few novels from some authors about writing, the process and all that. Those books are next on my list when I've finished the ones I'm currently digesting.

I'll have to share whatever fun knowledge I find within them. I'll probably recommend the ones that stand out the most to me.

Aimee Fluff

2008-08-25T00:09:00.006-07:00

I said that 1200 characters was not enough space to write something "About Me." Then I turned around and promptly forgot to write a thing about myself.

*chuckle*

Put off today what you can write about 6 months from now!

I think enough time has gone by that I can officially say, it is time to write something??! Even if it is to just acknowledge it needs to be written and revisited and edited later! I will say all the things that I have failed to say about myself:

About Me:

I'm a dual creative in one body. I both love to write and love to illustrate. (Although currently I'm doing neither because I'm a busy mom.) No one can serve two masters at once. And because I have multiple masters, I just have to take turns following them. I mentioned two, but there are more!

Isn't being a mother a creative thing?? You create children, with the right ingredients.

Okay, so I do lots of creative things. And I attempted to go to college to get some sort of official looking paper that verified that I was able to create things. I attended Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. But as fate would have it, moved before finishing my degree. (Something to do with my husband loosing his job, moving to Arizona, and I refusing to stay behind and finish school without him. Hum, so much for fate.) Someday I will have my chance to finish, because I believe that I will come full circle and it will happen. When it does, I will grab onto that with both hands. Until then I will do what I can.

What I can do is follow my heart. Strangely enough my heart has a mind of its own and sends me in crazy directions from time to time. Thank heavens I also have a head to guide me too. So when one gets tired the other takes over.

I also love to read, and I full heartedly admit that I've read far too many fantasy and science fiction books, and not enough classical novels to count on half of my fingers. A bane that I have recently tried to change.

My fatal flaws include; the inability to spell well 100% of the time, some grammar issues (both easily remedied with the proper classes and study), I enjoy reading every word and not skimming anything, I have a slight temper (although mostly reserved to my family and lately I've been better at controlling it), I often daydream and get lost in dramatic conversations with myself (which my husband loves to over hear from time to time), since I became a mother I've been prone to bouts of anxious episodes, I LOVE to sleep in, I LOVE to stay up late at night, I watch entirely too much television (again all of it has to have some sort of science fiction or fantastic theme), and I'm sure that I could find more amusing things to add here. But I think I've created the picture that I intended. I'm just another ordinary woman on the other side of this computer screen.

I was born in New York State, but I've lived most of my life in Arizona. I call Peoria my home because I live there. I'm online everywhere. So I hang my hat in many different places when it suits me.

I love to vacation! Who doesn't? I haven't been many places but I have a long list of dream places to visit. Maybe I will someday?

I'm sure that I will come up with more for this post... but as it is... I'm actually going to go to bed now.

Ciao!

The Look of Love

2008-08-24T23:18:00.002-07:00

Maybe I spoke a little too soon about being excited for my son's kindergarden experience. I was so happy to have more time to do what I was looking forward to do with the new time. The show stopper is that I've since had to take him out of kindergarden because he isn't ready yet to be there.

I have to admit, that my experience with getting a child ready for kindergarden has not given me enough sense to judge correctly when a child really is truly ready to be starting school. My son is very intelligent but he is also very immature to following instructions without standing over him to watch him do it. Besides he just barely turned 5 and it isn't a big rush to get him in kindergarden, especially since he is the youngest in his class. Maybe some kids at the exact age of 5 are ready to be there, but not everyone fits that standard. And I'm okay with that. He will be that much more prepared starting at 6. Thank heavens I also had a wonderful teacher who has kept me in the loop about his progress and was very professional, compassionate, and patient about leading us to our decision to pull him out. Thank you Mrs. Malvin!!

So after doing a mad rush to find a preschool, I am now prepared to go forward and again enjoy having my son around, although at a small personal cost. I may not have as much time as I planned to have, but that will resolve itself in time. And sooner than I will really like years to come I'm sure. So for now, I am mom for a few more hours of the day than a creative. And that's okay. It is a worthy sacrifice.

"Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love."
~ Leo Tolstoy

So many times I think it is easy to look past the ability to love. How it really affects us. How having it and giving it expands us to a higher wisdom. Love is kind, patient, long suffering...

If we start each day with the goal to have more love, more kindness, patience, and long suffering, we become a different person. I'd like to believe that we become better people. And after a long time practicing, we become more than better people. We just ARE better people. So after reading this quote this evening and contemplating all the things that are on my plate. All the decisions that I'm about to make for the rest of this year, I have to say that the reasons behind making them are because I love.

Not in the sense that I'm in love with my husband. Or that I love my kids and family. But that I've been touched by the effect of love in my life. And because love has been abundant in my life, I desire to spread that love to others. I see the world through the eyes of love.

I'm not exactly sure when it was that I had so much love that it changed me forever. It isn't that I've not struggled in my life. I have had loving parents but an equally difficult dose of trial in my childhood too. I'm not going to lie and say that I had a perfect beginning or middle or today. Because I haven't. I struggle just like everyone else.

But I choose to love. And that I think is the most important thing. Love has taught me that sometimes you only get what you decide you will have. If you want love, you have to love first. It is the same of understanding, gratitude, and respect. It is a choice that you have to choose. Love has taught me that it is hard to love when you are unloved. However, if you love yourself first, then no matter how hard it is you will find a way to receive the love that you deserve. This isn't about vain love in oneself. When you have healthy love for yourself, you balance the self love with the giving love. And it all comes back to you when it is time.

Sometimes we give love to those who don't deserve it. I have to admit that I've given that love and I've often wondered why it is that I did that? Especially if they didn't deserve it? I think it comes down to another principle of love that has been taught in the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you can love someone who does not deserve it, you attract the amount of love you gave away back to yourself at a later time. You reap what you indeed sow.

I guess you really can live off of love. If it teaches you so many important principles, if it guides your life, then it affects your life. And doesn't that in the end mean that you can live off of what love has done for you? Love can be a very hard teacher. And I expect that even after I write this, there will be days to come where love is going to teach me more lessons, and sometimes I may even choose to rebuke love and choose something else. But I do hope that I will remember love and make a better resolution to come back to choose love when those days pass. I hope that I will not give up on love, that I look to its teaching methods as a necessary bread of life.

So far, love and I have been fairly close companions.

Oh so much!

2008-08-11T13:08:00.008-07:00

Today is the first day of school. And yes you guessed it, I am happy to have some child free time because my younger son is in nap mode for the afternoon. YAY! So this means that I get the wonderful opportunity to be creative for a few hours before older son comes home from his first day of school!

I'm both happy and sad about this "new" moment in my life. The first thing I did after I put him on the bus was go home and call my mother! And yep, she knew exactly when I was about to call and exactly how I was feeling. And we both laughed and sighed together. I've walked around the house so many times today just lost as to what to do before I actually got my stride in to getting chores done. It is so weird!! I'm really glad that I had another child over for the morning to keep youngest son entertained or I'd probably had lost it from the get go.

So, now that I have moments for writing, what do I do? I get on facebook and check out some things that I've not had a chance to check out. One of them happened to be the blog of a college friend of mine, who I haven't seen for a while. We went to BYU together and studied the same major, Illustration. She announced on her blog that she is going for a month to a Plein Air Painting Competition. And honestly I'm pulling a blank, "WHAT is that?" What is Plein Air Painting? And then after googling it, checking out the link she provided from her blog site, and finding a few other references, I find that there is also something called "Plein Air Writing" as well.

Ooooohhhh? I don't know what this is and I am interested.

So lets find out shall we!

En plein air is a French expression which means "in the open air", and is particularly used to describe the act of painting outdoors.

- Wikipedia Definition

So how does one do this with writing then? This article explains it better:

As far as we know, we invented the term “plein-air writing,” right here in the Gorge. We know of no other place in the country, where that term is being used, or has been used, to define a writing event.

With that in mind, we feel free to define it, as we would like. Our definition is thus: Plein-air writing is writing outdoors, with the goal of capturing in an artistically compelling way, what is going on in the moment.

It is different from other forms of writing, in the same ways that plein-air painting is different from other forms of painting.

First, writers are involved in a process of intense observation, absorbing what’s going on around them, and choosing words to reflect the impressions they’re getting about the scene. Just as painters are attuned, writers are attuned to the light and the colors of the day, the sounds or lack of them, the wind, the scents . . . everything.

Second, plein-air writers need to put words down on a piece of paper quickly, before the scene changes. They need to capture their impressions as they occur, in real time, without benefit of subsequently rethinking, reframing, and editing what they think they may have felt or heard or saw at the time.

Third, plein-air writing is every bit as challenging as plein-air painting. Writers need to be highly skilled, to come up with just the right word, just the right emphasis, just the right flow . . . just as painters need to be able to quickly choose the right color and brush, and make just the right stroke.

Finally, because it happens relatively quickly, works written en plein air are primarily short works of art, just as paintings done in plein air are usually small in size.

- web link (Also downloadable PDF)

I think I have to say that I want to try this someday. It sounds like a fun thing to do. I may do it on my own at my home, but someday it would be interesting to actually go for this 5 day competition that they have to try my hand at Plein Air Writing. It sounds so organic and earthy. I think I'd enjoy it. When I can actually break away from the kids and feel confident enough in my writing craft to try it, I'm gonna!

Summer miles...

2008-06-29T13:19:00.003-07:00

This is my first summer with 2 active boys. I now understand why my mom dreaded the summer. You get nothing done because the kids are into everything and under foot constantly.

Which isn't a bad thing. But in terms of writing and accomplishing things. Ack.

Well, it doesn't last forever. Full day Kindergarden comes the middle of August and I will be much better posting then.

Till then, I will enjoy my boys and get what I can done and I'll be back in the fall.

So I'm on a roll...

2008-03-07T01:35:00.007-07:00

We had our March meeting for the Westside Stories just last evening. It was a wonderful meeting, very uplifting.

"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
~ E.L. Doctorow

This was the thought that I brought to share. I really like that quote although I just found it recently online. Life teaches you experience that makes a big impact on your writing if you let it. If you tap into it.

The one bit of information that I want to post really quick, because it is on my mind and the most inspiring thing that was given to us at the ANWA Conference by Tristi Pinkston, is a speech given by an LDS General Authority in 1888 by Orson F. Whitney titled "Home Literature." We could hardly remember it all, because she used so much of the information from that speech, so note taking was difficult. (I was going to email her and get the full text, but the Westside Stories President, Faith, found it for us.)

A most excellent read!

Orson F. Whitney "Home Literature"

Tristi gave a compelling lesson about tapping into our spirituality to became a better writer. She challenged that writing is a deeply spiritual experience and that every good writer taps their spirituality to do their best work. In fact, if we do not tap that spirituality our writing lacks a spark that will make it stand out from just any book, poem, or writing genre.

I will definitely share more of what I learned in her class. Just not right now.

My First Post

2008-03-06T00:23:00.006-07:00

So I guess I should write something interesting in this post since it is my "first."

I totally would... but I'm so focused on making the decor look nice, inviting, and unique for my focus in this blog... that I'm using all my creativity to beautify it.

I know, BIG disappointment. But it is what it is. I'm a writer who is also a "SAHM" and I can only do so much in one day at one time. (Heck, sometimes it is only 5 minutes, if that?) I'll probably continue to make little changes as I go.

But I do have time to say just a tad about myself. I just attended a Conference given by ANWA this last weekend on March 1st. (American Night Writers Association) It was amazing. I'll definitely be writing more about that conference in the future as I review my notes and write about what I learned.

I've been a member of ANWA for a few months now, but I've been attending meetings for about a year next month. It is an amazing resource!! I'm really glad that the President of my chapter, the Westside Stories, felt inspired to pass around some fliers at church or I'd never have known about it!

Actually, I volunteered to be the Vice President of our chapter this year. I did that so I'd make myself feel more responsible to come. Motivation. Can't back out now, cause I'm part of the leadership!! (Good thing that no one was really jumping to be the vice president!) That may be a bad reason for the other members to have me as their fearless vice pres, cause I volunteered, but for me it really IS a good motivation for me to be responsible to the rest of the group. Which is also the reason why I'm going to meetings to begin with. To have a group of people that want to hear what I've done for the last month in writing terms, gives you your first audience. Sympathetic ears.

One of the lessons I gave this last fall 2007 said just that. That bit of information came from a book called "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland. Many wise words and great information about why we do what we do and what keeps us from doing it is in that book. I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in any creative medium, as it is about "Art" and "creative individuals" as a whole.